Having been visiting the swimming pool at the local Leisure Centre now for a couple of weeks, I've discovered some interesting characters, and seen some interesting phenomena that I felt like sharing...
1. Small boy in the ladies change room...
Despite there being a dedicated changing area for families, mothers seem to insist on bringing their soggy children into the ladies change room to yank them out of their wet cozzies and get them dressed. Generally I don't care, however there was one young boy who has really hit the age where his mother needs to explain why it's rude to stare... As he spent most of the time wondering amongst the women and watcing as they pull off their swimmers... You re-enact a Dianna-esque moment, clutching your towel around you and scowling at the miniature blinking figure - who seems to have no intention of averting his gaze!
2. Old man saggy pants...
An elderly gentleman who wears a pair of 1970s vintage (paisley to boot) swimming trunks, which have become quite 'billowy' shall we say... They seem to trail behind him as he swims, like trawling nets, probably picking up all sorts of debris along the way... I can only imagine the bewilderment his wife feels as she throws them into the washing machine, picking out the bobby pins, band aids and hair bands that have been collected during his swim.
3. The life guards who strictly uphold the circular lap swimming rules!
This includes signage at each lane! Apparently English swimmers are incapable of avoiding a mid-water collision...
4. Probably the best and most mysterious so far... The evaporating granny!
I returned to the change room after my swim to find on the floor a small pair of tan coloured orthopedic shoes and a pair of wrinkled beige stockings, both covered and surrounded by a giant mound of talcum powder... and nothing and no one else!
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